years until I was independent there was no other course, ana so accepted it as best I could. Dad was overjoyed but he was the only one. Mother had lost her plaything and Sis an ever growing confidant. But there was one amusing incident to the change, and that was Sis's change in attitude toward- me Almost in the length of time it took me to get my hair shortened she changed from treating me like an equal and friend to an annoying younger brother.

Mother's and my idea, to treat it as an experiment for Mother, had enabled us to put the idea across in a way no other thing would have done, but as soon as the haircut was finished its disadvantage became apparent. Dad had thought that it was wholly her idea forced on me for experimental purposes He never did, and never has, realized how I lovee it. Hence when it terminated he felt me free from bondage and there was no excuse, my long hair being gone, for me to resume it in his presence. Too, there was Sis, though not fooled as Dad was, nevertheless didn't realize how I liked it so she prevented my practicing it durin the day when Dad was away.

But the worst thing of all was my feminine wardrobe It remained in my room--the dresses in the closet, and the drawers full of underthings and accessories were a constant and painful reminder of better days. Mother though, was still as understanding as ever and at every possible oppor tunity--though they were few and far between--she helped me wear my dresses. Those only came when both Dad and Sis were out--which was a rare combination. My hair, of course was kept in the longest possible length so with the aid of the chignon I could look authentic. But only authentic to a noint--an outwardly passable femininity. It is only by constantly living as a girl as I had done that summer that one achieves real authenticity. Then one's nails can grow to the proper length, one can keep one's complexion clear by constant care and protection, and come to feel this fem- inity internally as relaxed and natural.

Those snatched moments with Mother were wonderful and how I did love them. But for almost two years that was all